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| 16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and will never achieve its full potential, that one word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife!
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. | | |
| well my birthday came and went. most everyone remembered and it really warmed my heart to have katie and heather sing to me separately. soon i will be at ATM with my beloved heather and of course whitney too. Joey, caroline, and I are all road triping to college station! WO WHO! Anyways time to sleep | | |
| things i have learned in college...
1. notes are more fun to take and reread if taken in colorful markers
2. missing week one of class is a bad idea
3. no-one cares if you go to class
4. it takes a whopping 30 min to get to cccc from my house and park
5. rolly backpacks are STILL around
6. afternoon classes are better because surprise, surprise ...I'm NOT a morning person
7. dance is a cool place to meet people
8. the baked potatoes are really good
well..thats all i have this far... any other advise? | | |
| sorry i haven't written in a while because i KNOW everyone awaits the update of my exciting life. things have actually been pretty differnt and can compared to an action i do every night. you know when you wash your face and brush your teeth everynight and after like 19 years it becomes monotonous. you put on your pajamas and you walk to the light switch, but first you hesitate. "hmm what do i have to jump over to make the final destination into bed?" after you turn off the switch there is a moment of terror for me. (maybe it is because my room is always messy,) Then after my eyes adjust to the total blackness i realize that i am going to be okay. that probably makes no since to anyone, but many changes have been made lately. i am not going to get into all the craziness, but this break has been amazing for me. the time off from school has really renewed my spirit helped me remember the important things in life. i am so truely happy.
i have made some great friends at school this past semester. i was very nervous about staying home this year and going to collin county, but all things worked out beautifully. it is so wierd how things work out.
i am going to take this moment to talk about heather mansfield. i have missed her sooo much this semester. she is such a great friend and so entertaining for me. i think my fave night of this long long break was when me, heather, and joey just hung out and watched red dragon. nothing special happened, but it was just so wonderful to hang out with people you know so well. almost like family. | | |
| This post here is strictly for the ladies in the xanga community. Because i watch Oprah religiously... (Ms. Katie Wilhoit can attest to this)...i decided to take some of her advice and purchase the book called He's Just Not That Into You. Here are some of my Favorite points...
*"You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all of the time. (You have to be nice to them too.)"
*"You can't talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one."
*"Cheating gets easier every time it's done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust."
*"Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find that a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly."
*"An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship.""
*"There's never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger."
*"There ARE cool, loving SINGLE men in the world. Find one of them to go out with."
*"There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend."
*"Drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings. Otherwise people wouldn't smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their finger in the fire to see if they can feel anything." | | |
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